Americans generally believe that the ideal person is an autonomous, self-reliant individual. Most Americans see themselves as separate individuals, not as representatives of a family, community, or other group. They dislike being dependent on other people, or having others dependent on them.
The individual that Americans idealize prefers an atmosphere of freedom, where neither the government nor any other external force or agency dictates what the individual does. For Americans, the idea of individual freedom has strong, positive connotations.
Competitiveness pervades the society. It is obvious in the attention given to athletic events and to star athletes, who are praised for being “real competitors.” It is also obvious in schools and extracurricular activities for children, where games and contests are assumed to be desirable and beneficial. Competitiveness is less obvious when it is in the minds of people who are persistently comparing themselves with others.
Closely associated with the value Americans place on individualism is the importance of privacy. Americans assume that most people “need some time to themselves” or “some time alone” to think about things or recover their spent psychological energy. Americans also assume that people have their “private thoughts” that might never be shared with anyone.
Americans are distinctive in the degree to which they believe in the ideal, as stated in the Declaration of Independence, that “all men are created equal.” Although they sometimes violate the ideal in their daily lives, Americans have a deep faith that in some fundamental way all people are of equal value, that no one is born superior to anyone else.
Americans treat each other in very informal ways, for example, even in the presence of great differences in age or social standing. From the point of view some people from other cultures, this kind of behavior reflects “lack of respect.” From point of view of others, it reflects a healthy lack of concern for social ritual.
Americans are generally less concerned about history and traditions; they look ahead. They have the idea that what happens in the future is within their control, or at least subject to their influence. The mature, sensible person, they think, sets goals for the future and works systematically toward them. Desirable changes in the future can be produced by the progress of working towards these goals.
The future cannot be better if people in general are not fundamentally good and improvable. Americans assume that human nature is basically good.
Americans place considerable value on punctuality. They tend to organize their activities by means of schedules. As a result they may sometimes seem hurried, always running from one thing to the next, and not able to relax and enjoy themselves. Foreign observers sometimes see this as being “ruled by the clock.” Other times they see it as a helpful way of assuring that things get done.
Expression like “he’s a hard worker,” or “you have done a great job” convey the admiration for taking action and achievement. Hard workers and achievements are admired not just on the job, but in other aspects of life as well.
Regardless of income, Americans tend to spend money rather freely on material goods. Americans are often criticized for being so “materialistic,” so concerned with acquiring possessions. For Americans, though, this materialistic bent is natural and proper.
Americans usually assume that conflicts or disagreements are best settled by means of forthright discussions among the people involved. The word assertiveness is the adjective Americans commonly use to describe the person who plainly and directly expresses feelings and requests.
In different societies and communities, people have different ideas about the proper behavior of neighbors. In Iowa City, you might have different interaction with your neighbors, depending on the type of housing you live in. People who live in a house usually know their neighbors. When first moving in, people who already live there will initiate the relationship. They will come and introduce themselves to you. Especially when you live with your family, and have kids, your kids are likely to play with other kids in the neighborhood. Therefore, it is good to know who your neighbors are. People living in apartment housing (a lot of them are students) may never meet their neighbors, since people are in short term living situations. Sometimes, you might never see your neighbors. However, it is still a good idea to at least recognize your neighbors in case any strange things happen. If you live in the residence halls there will be different expectations. Students who live in the resident halls are suggested to open their door when they are in the room. Students are advised to get to know their Resident Assistants (RAs) and other students on the floor.
Cultural differences are reflected in the workplace as well. Whether you have a student job in a food service, a post-doctoral research position in a laboratory, or teaching responsibilities as a visiting professor, you will find that the basic American values discussed earlier are reflected in the behavior of the people around you. Individualism, equality, and efficiency are cultural values particularly noticeable in American workplaces.
Furthermore, each workplace has its own “culture,” with variations, for example, in the amount of attention paid to hierarchical differences. Even with these differences, there are guidelines international students and scholars will want to follow if they want to be accepted by the Americans around them, and if they want to get promoted:
Sometimes workers encounter problems associated with their jobs. For example, they might believe they are being treated unfairly or unreasonably, or that another employee’s behavior is making it difficult for them to carry out their responsibilities. When this happens among Americans, the general expectation is that the worker will first speak directly with the person with whom they have the problem. The next step is to talk to the supervisor, and then, if there is no resolution, the supervisor’s supervisor, then the head of the unit.
You will probably have opportunities to visit an American home for dinners or events. The following paragraphs give a general idea of the behavior that is appropriate in formal situations and the expectations that are common at informal social gatherings. In general, you will notice what may seem to be a lack of attention to the formalities of a traditional host-guest relationship. Americans usually want their guests to “feel at home,” which, to them, means to feel relaxed and able to “act naturally,” as they presumably would in their own homes.
Invitations to more formal engagements such as dinners or cocktail parties are usually written. A written invitation will include the date, time, place, and a description of the occasion. It will specify if children are included; if it does not include the children’s names or word “family,” then children are not included. If it says, “R.S.V.P.,” you should phone to say whether you plan to be present. If it says, “regrets only,” reply only if you do not plan to be present. Tell the host or hostess about any dietary restrictions you have. If you are unsure how to dress you can simply ask: What should I wear?” When replying to a formal invitation you should never say that you accept an invitation unless you truly intend to do so.
It is essential to arrive on time for a meal or a cocktail party. You may be thought inconsiderate and impolite if you do not arrive at or shortly after the appointed hour. It is a very good idea to notify your host or hostess if you cannot avoid being late. After the party a telephone call or a personal comment expressing appreciation for an invitation is appropriate.
More formal dinner parties usually begin with cocktails and hors-d’oeuvres (small appetizers). Many dinners are served buffet-style, where the food is put on table and the guests serve themselves.
Invitations to less formal gatherings, such as student parties and other impromptu gatherings, will come informally, by telephone or in person. Guests can arrive or leave at any time, and dress however they wish.
People often take some food or drink to share with others at informal social gatherings. Beer, soft drinks, chips, dips, and “salsa” (spicy, tomato-based sauce common in Mexican cuisine) are common refreshments at informal gatherings. If you are invited to an informal gathering, you might ask the person who invited you if you should bring something to eat or drink.
“Potlucks” (meals where every guest brings a dish to share) are common for larger groups. Potlucks are considered convenient, because they reduce the burden on any one individual for making all arrangements and preparing all food.
Punctuality is highly emphasized in the United States. Remember that it is considered impolite and extremely inconsiderate to fail to keep an appointment or “date” without giving prior notice to the other person.
In this society it is acceptable to decline an invitation by giving a vague excuse or avoiding commitment. If you do not want to accept an invitation, make an appointment, or have a date with a particular person, you should decline the initial invitation or request. You should not accept and then not appear at the appointed time.
Sometimes it happens, after an appointment or date has been agreed upon, that keeping the appointment becomes impossible. In such circumstances, notify the other person or people as soon as possible. If you fail to keep your appointment you should call to apologize. Changing plans for an appointment or date does not present the same problems as “breaking” a date by simply not appearing. If you have agreed to go to a movie and then decide that a party would be preferable, it is acceptable to call the other person and propose the change in plans. The other person can accept or decline the proposed change.
University business hours are (with some exceptions) 8:00 a.m. to noon and 1:00 to 5:00 p.m., Monday through Friday. Some offices are open over the noon hour. Most retail businesses open at 9:00 a.m. Closing hours vary. Many businesses always close at 5:00 or 5:30 p.m. Some downtown businesses stay open until 9:00 p.m. on Monday and Thursday evenings. Businesses in shopping centers are usually open until 9:00 p.m. Monday through Friday. Most retail businesses are open on Saturdays, with varying hours. Some are open on Sundays. People might not check emails, or do things related to work outside of business/working hours.
In order to have daylight further into the evening in spring and summer, most of the United States uses "daylight savings time" between March and October/November. You can search the daylight savings time on internet. You might want to set your clocks or watches one hour back on the night when it switches in October or November, and one hour ahead in March. Many people try to remember the direction in which to move their clocks in April (the spring) and October (the fall) by recalling the instruction: spring forward, fall back. Your phone will automatically switch to the correct time during daylight savings.
Tips, or service charges, are not added to the bill in U.S. hotels or restaurants. Nevertheless, tips are often expected and needed by employees, whose hourly rate of pay is usually quite low, based on the assumption that tips will provide a reasonable income. It is customary to tip the waiter or waitress in a restaurant 15 to 20 percent of the amount of the check, if the service is satisfactory. Tips are not expected in cafeterias or “fast food” establishments.
In different societies, there are different customs concerning the giving of gifts. Sometimes, in relationships between people from different societies, one person will give a gift when the other person did not expect to receive one. Or no gift will be offered when one was expected. Such situations can cause confusion and embarrassment. Here are some general (that is, subject to variation and exception) ideas about gift-giving customs in the U.S. Knowing them can help avoid awkward situations.
When we think about communicating with people from another country, we think first about their spoken language. But much (some scholars think most) communication between people is nonverbal, involving dress, ornaments, facial expressions, gestures, postures, and body positioning. A few statements about nonverbal communication with Americans have already been made in the Communicative Style of Americans section. Here are some more comments:
When they are talking to someone, Americans alternate between looking briefly into the listener’s eyes and looking slightly away. When they are listening to another person, they look almost constantly at the speaker’s eyes. Americans tend to distrust people who do not look into their eyes while talking to them.
People in some countries touch their conversation partners far more frequently than Americans do; people in still other countries touch each other even less often than Americans do. American men rarely touch each other, except when shaking hands. Women touch each other somewhat more often, but with rare exceptions they do not walk hand-in-hand or arm-in-arm the way women in many countries do. Americans usually get nervous if another person stands closer than about an arm’s length away, unless the other person is a partner in a romantic relationship. They stand a bit closer if they are side-to-side rather than face-to-face.
This is not say that there is a taboo on touching conversation partners. There is not. Some Americans periodically touch their conversation partners lightly on the arm or shoulder while talking.
As you can readily tell from television commercials, Americans have been taught that the natural smells of people’s bodies and breath are unpleasant. Many Americans bathe or shower daily (or more often if they engage in vigorous exercise during the day), use an underarm deodorant to counteract the odor of perspiration, and brush their teeth with toothpaste at least once daily and perhaps more often than that. In addition, they may rinse their mouths with a mouthwash or chew mints in order to be sure their breath is free of food odors. It is very common for women to shave their legs and underarms and to use a small quantity of perfume each day; many men use a scented cologne or after-shave lotion to impart what they believe is a pleasant smell. “Too much” of a perfume or cologne is generally considered unpleasant. Most Americans will quickly back away from a person who has “body odor” or “bad odor” or “bad breath.” This backing away may be the only signal that they are “offended” by another person’s breath or body odor. The topic of these odors is so sensitive that most Americans will not tell another person that they have “bad breath” or “body odor.”
In a thoughtful and concise introduction to American society and culture, here are additional points: